I am on deployment right now, and let me tell you something, there is almost nothing worse than having an absentee significant other, or worse, a cheating one. That's the point though, you should damn well know if you're dating someone in the military that it's not all cute Instagram posts at military balls and playing army wife or husband. It's not easy being deployed either. You're at least at home safe and sound.
You're not dealing with the daily dreg of being deployed in the middle of nowhere. Some of these guys are getting blown up and you're complaining because you're "lonely". We're fucking lonely too, we're away from our families. We're away from you. It really isn't that hard to be supportive of a deployed service member. A lot of bases as you see here do have access to the internet. Send them an email. Let them know you care or you're thinking about them and that you still love them.
Because it hurts a whole hell of a lot when you find out your girlfriend is back home with Jody for civilians, a joke name for anyone who your SO cheats on you with. It just pisses me off when I have to console Private Joe because his girlfriend left him in the middle of a deployment. It might have been great for her to say she dates a military man back home and now suddenly when he has to do his fucking job she "can't handle it".
So do everyone a favor if you're dating or thinking of dating a service member, think real long and hard if you can handle the downs as well as the benefits. Because I'm sick and tired of watching my buddies and this isn't reserved to women, you boyfriends need to keep Dating in the military reddit politics dick in your pants back home, too getting hurt by people who said they would be there for them.
I love my husband so dang much it hurts. He, like you, is deployed right now. I'm pregnant with our first kiddo due in February. He won't be here for the birth. Every damn day I miss him "Dating in the military reddit politics" it's hard. But I want to send a little message to other military spouses- if you honestly love the person, you can make it easier.
I make a video diary to my husband every day and send them to him on a dvd that he can play on a portable dvd player. It makes me feel like he's still a part of my daily life. He recorded himself reading baby books, and I play them for my 'wombmate' every night. I redecorated the house to suprise him when he gets home.
I buy him a gift every month so I have something to look forward to spoiling him with when he gets back. I spray his cologne on his side of the bed so I can smell him when I go to sleep. I still have days where I get mad that I'm alone with the baby. I still have nights where I cry because I don't want to sleep alone. I worry a lot But I know he's also upset he's not here.
I know he also misses me at bedtime. I know he worries about me to. And I also know it's only 9 months. Because I get him for much longer when he gets home. I'm sorry to hear you're dealing with that. You sound like a wonderful wife and soon to be mother. I wish you the best. I love how mature and empathetic your response is, unlike so many couples I know. From a random internet stranger, stay strong and pull through for three more months, it will be worth it.
Wish you both a great parenting life! This shit right here took this from "good point", to "Fuck these people! It's amazing how easily we forget how hard something like this could be, just because it's not happening to us. Assuming not, I wish that were the case. Unfortunately too many people only think of themselves. I always try to look at things from every side, and even then I still catch myself doing this Its obvious that people suck.
I comment things like this because I hope more people will read it and be like "oh maybe ill try that sometime", or something. Also because I notice people are such self absorbed assholes that Ill take any chance I can get to slap society in the face really. This is so rampant that even people who aren't being unfaithful get caught up in the crossfire.
My divorce from a service member came about partly because he was so sure I was cheating that he drove himself crazy trying to find proof that wasn't there. I Dating in the military reddit politics handle that kind of insecurity and being questioned all the time, it was awful. It must be even worse to hear people talk about it all the time like it's normal.
I know I heard a lot and watched it happen around me. I think that going from high school to the military is a baaad idea. With no life experience in between, it's too easy to just go along and do what everyone else is doing. I know that's what they're looking for, but it backfires sometimes. One of my papers in college was about the 'brainwashing' that goes on in the military.
I know it's necessary, but the mindset they are trying to achieve can be kind of unsettling when you see the effects. My brother in law was in the marines, then private forces, then a mental hospital. It's so odd talking to him. I feel my hair rise when I see him.
He went from an artistic, goofy guy, to a dead-eyed person I am not comfortable with. I rode in his car and watched him laugh and drive at a speed that would kill us all and he took his hands off the wheel. He scares me now. Not everyone is like this, but there's usually something changed after a deployment.
It Dating in the military reddit politics made me incredibly sad to see some more of my ex-husbands sanity stay behind whenever he came back.
Some people can handle it, but some people leave a little
Dating in the military reddit politics humanity on the battlefield every time they go. I'm sorry you have to deal with that, but I really doubt this is because of the military brainwashing him.
It sounds like PTSD. During WWII, they found that normal people will miss on purpose if they have to shoot at another person. This impulse needs to be trained out of soldiers, which I assume is the point of "brainwashing".
This is only my opinion, but it's silly to think people will be able to reintegrate smoothly into civilian life after being in a war. War is all about adrenalin, detaching, destruction, and killing people. All the old morals and instincts are gone. Then, presto chango, the morals and instincts are supposed to come back? And if they don't, the person has a "disorder"?
I always wonder about the sanity of people who can go, be at risk for dying, go around killing "Dating in the military reddit politics" themselves, and then they're fine when they get back. I have met few combat veterans, but only one Vietnam was truly "normal" anymore.
Dating in the military reddit politics - I know they exist because I was the latter. In a twist of the norm I was the civilian male, and she was the one in the military. Our relationship wasn't easy, and communication wasn't the best, but with all of the alone time I had I was able to sort some shit out with my life and take a level in badass because I felt obligated to "keep up with her" or, whatever that meant to me at the time.
Lifting more, getting some cool hobbies, learning how to talk sensitively to people when needed, that type of thing. It wasn't until a while in that I found out that the reason she wasn't reaching out as much was because she was being unfaithful while deployed.
Exactly, one can only trust them self to be faithful- not someone else. That would be the latter I was referring to. Guess what, they do. Most people that don't cheat on their SO were never put in the situation that really tested them. He was once in the army himself, and told us that to have a girlfriend while deployed is one way to mark yourself as incredible stupid.
Of course, the problem raises when you notice anybody needs to fell loved. How do you solve that? I am a Neural Network being trained to detect spammers Summon me with! Im planning on being in the military and stuff like this keeps me thinking long and hard about whether its worth risking losing your loved ones due to prolonged deployments.
Just think long and hard about it because if you go in there with high expectations, you might be very Dating in the military reddit politics.
Seeing the world, being a badass, etc It's peacetime, the most deployment you'll see if you aren't a grunt is maybe on a base somewhere that you won't ever leave, otherwise you get stationed in Garrison and never leave your unit in 4 years. Also you won't be a badass, they teach you just enough to get your kicked. State flags; Territory flags; City flags; US military flags; "Other" flags That doesn't mean that politics are important in dating, only that values.
Don't freak out, I didn't join to get laid. I'm just curious what's the dating scene like for an active duty soldier? Is it hard to meet women?.